Saturday is normally a lazy day at the Meek household (I don't know why I have the last name Chin... cause Dad's last name is Meek. Some people say its because I'm "adapted"... but I was adapted long before he met Mom and SHE has the last name Meek). However, during the hot summer months, Dear ol' Dad has to do this thing where he pulls out this little noisy machine and walks it all over the yard. I guess, maybe, the machine really walks Dad and he's chasing it all over the yard. This machine is eating grass and throwing it up at a very fast pace.. we've all eaten grass and thrown it up but THIS is something completely different.
The end result is the yard isn't so tall any more, my poop is covered up with the dead grass and Dad is mostly pissed off an tired for the rest of the afternoon. He says he's getting to old to walk the mower any more. I can beleive it cause... he's gotten to old to walk ME every night (or just fat and lazy... but don't tell him I said that or he'll cut the chicken portion down in Chin dinner. He's sneaky like that).
I love Dad... I know it sometimes seems like we butt heads (he is a butt head, after all) but I do love my one and only Dear ol' Dad. I hear people talking about making money and getting old and moving away to not work any more. They move to this place called "Retired Mint". If its anything like Peppermint, color me interested cause Sophie LOVES some peppermint!! You apparently have to have a lot of money to move to Retired Mint. Dad is not exactly what you call "rich" in anything but dog butts and human fat. If you could measure wealth in poop, he's be a regular Rockheadfella. He often say money runs from him like a chicken running from Col. Sanders.
Dad has dreams of moving to the mountains... which is apparently where Retired Mint is located. But its confusing because Mom wants to move to the beach and she thinks that is where Retired Mint is at. Dad wants to write a book and Mom wants to paint and grow stuff like peppers and corn in the yard. Since you can't eat a book (well, you can and I have... but it isn't very good), I have to side with Mom on the growing stuff in the yard idea. I do like peppers AND corn. Funny thing about corn though... you'll always see it twice, IF you know what I mean!!!???
So, I've been thinking that, if I had a million doghairs (which is the title of a song that Dad like and it apparently means you have enough money to move to Retired Mint) I would spend it all on buying us a beach house in the mountains of Retired Mint. Dad could sit on the porch with me and we could lounge around while he typed his novel... about me. (are you sensing a ME theme in all of this?). We could sip rootbeer and eat jalapeno Cheeto's until the sun went down. Then we could watch movies and eat popcorn and chin dinner.
Mom could have her trips to the beach with Loki. His head could be used as a floatation device if Mom got in trouble out in the ocean cause empty things float. The Bitty, Loki and Finn could have their own guest house where I would never have to see them again... unless I needed something from them. Dad could still visit them if he got lonely for stupid things. Mom could grow veggies and fruits in our garden and we could live the rest of our lives just being together. Dad could cook good stuff in the smoker, we could eat very well and have friends visit sometimes when we felt like we could stand company.
It sounds like a great life, doesn't it? My only question is, where can I get a Million Doghairs? I would have thought between the four of us here, we would have well over a million doghairs. I see Mom throwing away buckets of dog hairs every week. I guess we don't have the special dog hairs needed to buy stuff in Retired Mint. Its kinda sad. I know Dad has worked hard all his life, he's taken good care of me and I wish I could help him find Retired Mint in the mountains. Who knows... maybe someday!!!
The end result is the yard isn't so tall any more, my poop is covered up with the dead grass and Dad is mostly pissed off an tired for the rest of the afternoon. He says he's getting to old to walk the mower any more. I can beleive it cause... he's gotten to old to walk ME every night (or just fat and lazy... but don't tell him I said that or he'll cut the chicken portion down in Chin dinner. He's sneaky like that).
I love Dad... I know it sometimes seems like we butt heads (he is a butt head, after all) but I do love my one and only Dear ol' Dad. I hear people talking about making money and getting old and moving away to not work any more. They move to this place called "Retired Mint". If its anything like Peppermint, color me interested cause Sophie LOVES some peppermint!! You apparently have to have a lot of money to move to Retired Mint. Dad is not exactly what you call "rich" in anything but dog butts and human fat. If you could measure wealth in poop, he's be a regular Rockheadfella. He often say money runs from him like a chicken running from Col. Sanders.
Dad has dreams of moving to the mountains... which is apparently where Retired Mint is located. But its confusing because Mom wants to move to the beach and she thinks that is where Retired Mint is at. Dad wants to write a book and Mom wants to paint and grow stuff like peppers and corn in the yard. Since you can't eat a book (well, you can and I have... but it isn't very good), I have to side with Mom on the growing stuff in the yard idea. I do like peppers AND corn. Funny thing about corn though... you'll always see it twice, IF you know what I mean!!!???
So, I've been thinking that, if I had a million doghairs (which is the title of a song that Dad like and it apparently means you have enough money to move to Retired Mint) I would spend it all on buying us a beach house in the mountains of Retired Mint. Dad could sit on the porch with me and we could lounge around while he typed his novel... about me. (are you sensing a ME theme in all of this?). We could sip rootbeer and eat jalapeno Cheeto's until the sun went down. Then we could watch movies and eat popcorn and chin dinner.
Mom could have her trips to the beach with Loki. His head could be used as a floatation device if Mom got in trouble out in the ocean cause empty things float. The Bitty, Loki and Finn could have their own guest house where I would never have to see them again... unless I needed something from them. Dad could still visit them if he got lonely for stupid things. Mom could grow veggies and fruits in our garden and we could live the rest of our lives just being together. Dad could cook good stuff in the smoker, we could eat very well and have friends visit sometimes when we felt like we could stand company.
It sounds like a great life, doesn't it? My only question is, where can I get a Million Doghairs? I would have thought between the four of us here, we would have well over a million doghairs. I see Mom throwing away buckets of dog hairs every week. I guess we don't have the special dog hairs needed to buy stuff in Retired Mint. Its kinda sad. I know Dad has worked hard all his life, he's taken good care of me and I wish I could help him find Retired Mint in the mountains. Who knows... maybe someday!!!