Twas the night before Christmas in the Dear ol' Dad house, not a creature was stirring, 'cept Loki, the louse! The dogs were all tucked in the Chin Cave with care and there was ol' Dad, in his big underwear. He had been in his sweatpants and Steelers ball cap, just coming in from taking the Dingus out for a crap. When upstairs in the living room there arose such a clatter, I fell off the bed and emptied my bladder.
I flew up the stairs and threw the opened door, I stopped for a milkbone and a freshly made Smore. Then what to my big round Chin eyes did appear??? A fat old dude hanging out with reindeer. The fat little fellow looked kinda mad, I thought for a moment it was my round Dear ol' Dad!! He was dressed all in fur from his head to his shoes, I tried warned him but he stepped in Bitty dog doo. A big burlap bag was thrown over his back, which lead me fear he was there to DOGNAP!! I was ready to run but his smile gave me pause... it was then I realized IT WAS OL' SANTY CLAUS!!!
With a wink of an eye and the nod of his head, I figured it out that I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word and readied to start his work, then guess who showed up??? FINN, the big jerk! Finn barked and he growled and then in Loki came. Santa was taken aback and he called them some names "You Jackass, you Loser, you smelly big oder " "You Numbskull, you dim wit, you Hillbilly freeloader" To the top of the stairs, to the chin cave below... now run away, run away, down to the basement you go
Santa looked me in the eyes and softly he spoke "So you live here with the Dingus, Fat Bitty and that dope? Well my Dear May, for all that you endure... I've got something special in my bag for you, I'm quite sure" Then Santa gave me the presents inside, a gift certificate for Popeyes and a bag of rawhides. As I turned to thank him for the presents he'd left, he took just one step and he drew in his breath. And laying his finger on the side of his nose, he said "this house smells like a dog" and up the chimney he rose.
His coursers were all rested and ready to fly, I just hoped I didn't get hit with deer crap from the sky!!! Loki bark and Finn howled as the sleigh lifted up with a "WHOOSH!!!" Santa cried out "SHUT UP YOU LOSERS, YOU DINGUS AND YOU COUNTRY ASSED DOUCHE!!"
And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight... "Sophie May is the best chin in the entire world and I love her way more than Finn, Loki or Bitty... in fact, in comparison I would say she is greater in beauty than any dog I've encountered in my long journey tonight... not to mention her incredible intelligence!! And to all a GOOD NIGHT!"
I flew up the stairs and threw the opened door, I stopped for a milkbone and a freshly made Smore. Then what to my big round Chin eyes did appear??? A fat old dude hanging out with reindeer. The fat little fellow looked kinda mad, I thought for a moment it was my round Dear ol' Dad!! He was dressed all in fur from his head to his shoes, I tried warned him but he stepped in Bitty dog doo. A big burlap bag was thrown over his back, which lead me fear he was there to DOGNAP!! I was ready to run but his smile gave me pause... it was then I realized IT WAS OL' SANTY CLAUS!!!
With a wink of an eye and the nod of his head, I figured it out that I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word and readied to start his work, then guess who showed up??? FINN, the big jerk! Finn barked and he growled and then in Loki came. Santa was taken aback and he called them some names "You Jackass, you Loser, you smelly big oder " "You Numbskull, you dim wit, you Hillbilly freeloader" To the top of the stairs, to the chin cave below... now run away, run away, down to the basement you go
Santa looked me in the eyes and softly he spoke "So you live here with the Dingus, Fat Bitty and that dope? Well my Dear May, for all that you endure... I've got something special in my bag for you, I'm quite sure" Then Santa gave me the presents inside, a gift certificate for Popeyes and a bag of rawhides. As I turned to thank him for the presents he'd left, he took just one step and he drew in his breath. And laying his finger on the side of his nose, he said "this house smells like a dog" and up the chimney he rose.
His coursers were all rested and ready to fly, I just hoped I didn't get hit with deer crap from the sky!!! Loki bark and Finn howled as the sleigh lifted up with a "WHOOSH!!!" Santa cried out "SHUT UP YOU LOSERS, YOU DINGUS AND YOU COUNTRY ASSED DOUCHE!!"
And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight... "Sophie May is the best chin in the entire world and I love her way more than Finn, Loki or Bitty... in fact, in comparison I would say she is greater in beauty than any dog I've encountered in my long journey tonight... not to mention her incredible intelligence!! And to all a GOOD NIGHT!"