We went out and hijacked a bunch of great pictures of my Facebook Friends with their FRIENDS. Cause, we all know... YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS!!!
Calendars and blogs and photos and work and dinner and mowing and grooming and grocery shopping... sometimes Chin Dinner gets pushed waaayyyyy back. I might be waiting till 9PM or later before it hits the plate and my tummy...
For those of you who aren't in the know (and I'd like to know who that is because, you're either new to the program or you're not paying attention to the program) Chin Dinner takes place nightly and is the ultimate in Chin dining. I don't think Dear ol' Dad invented it but he has taken a long time to study it and make it the event it currently has become. Dad is the Head Chef of the Chin Dinner institutue of Fine Dining. Chin Dinner is a meat (normally chicken), a veggie (normally peas or green beans) and a grain (normally rice or pasta) boiled with/or without a beef bullion cube until cooked. Then Dad lets it cool on the stove until the grain absorbs the flavored water. Dad mixes ground beef, fish, pork and chicken... adds sweet potatoes, potatoes and, sometimes, other treats. I hate it when Chin dinner is late. I can become very vocal when I don't get my dinner on time. I've been known to bark, woo, scratch the stove, dig on Dad's leg, sit and stare, punch Dad in the eye (only once... by accident... or so everyone thinks). Its all I can do to hang on until its served. I'm down to fur and bone by the time 9 rolls around. After all, all I've had is kibble, snacks, bites of Dad's dinner, dinner leftovers and whatever I find on the floor. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO TIDE ME OVER? Finn and I are the only ones who get Chin Dinner... after all, it is called CHIN DINNER and we are the chosen ones. Well, I am the chosen one and he gets a free ride by breed assoication. Loki and the Bitty do not get Chin Dinner unless we "throw them a bone" and don't eat our entire meal. This happens just about NEVER o'clock... but the Bitty is a sneak and will likely weasle her fat way into the end of the meal most nights. Loki, being a dingus, never gets much more than a butt chewing from Dad. So, here we are at 9:45 and its not even on the plate yet. Dad is finishing up the last couple sentences of today's Sophie Sez and then he PROMISES, its off to the kitchen. If not... it might be another scratch on the leg, bark in the ear, punch in the eye or something more drastic!!! Never stand between a Chin and her dinner... just saying. In closing, I'd like to say "PUT DOWN THE LAPTOP OLD MAN AND MAKE MY DINNER, DAMN IT!!" Love ya all, Sophie Today's Sophie Sez was going to be some silly rant about my Chincestors... however something bigger, and more serious, stepped into the forefront. It appears my friend Duncan Joseph had complications from his surgery a few weeks ago.
For those of you who don't remember, DJ is the poor buddy who broke his arm high on the bone around his shoulder. It appears the operation was not done correctly... as the plate is bent and the screw is broken. It was a shoddy job done by a well recommended vet. This joker is not standing by his work and expects full payment for the redo. What a crock of donkey shit (which is French for what a crock of donkey shit). The long and the short of it... DJ needs our help again. Vet bills and follow ups will likely be $4K and there is no way Aly P. and DJ can afford that on their own. Aly has setup a "Chin In" account to collect whatever people can afford to give. Here is that address... http://duncanjoseph.chipin.com/dunkies-botched-surgery Money is tight... times are hard... but Duncan is one of a kind and needs each of us to help save his arm. The alternative is to have his arm amputated and that is still 2K plus the loss of a limb he can never recover. There is are people working on fund raising ideas but the grass root efforts of a dollar and a dime is where the real power lives. Thank you all for the first successful round of donations... and thank you again, in advance, for the second more successful round of donations for my personal buddy Duncan Joseph. You are all wonderful and you are the key to his living a normal Chin life... the life he would want for any of you! My best to you and yours Sophie My yard here at the Dear ol' Dad Mansion and Homestead is nice enough (WHEN DAD MOWS!!) and its plenty big for a small dog and her challenged brother to wander around when needing to do natures bidding... we have a smaller front yard, two good sized side yards and a very large back yard that runs right up against a park on one side. So... a dog could do worse when it comes to living arrangements.
In front of our house is a three railed white picket fence that runs the length of the road frontage. Its not really designed to keep anyone out, after all... its nothing more than three boards and the posts inbetween them. Apparently what is not designed to keep anyone out IS designed to keep small dogs IN. If you want to get a butt chewing aorund here... stick a head, tail or toe out beyond the white picket fence. Dad will tear you a new "exit path" and give you one of his famous two hour lectures if you even consider seeing if the grass is greener on the other side. I know this first hand because I have tried... OH... I have tried. Our yard is on a subdivision main drag... its not really all that busy but it does have a lot of dog traffic. Those dogs like to use our fence as a "wee station", if you will. Seeing as I think in Smell-o-vision, I like to sniff a bunch of fence post to see if it was anydog that i knew. Well.. THAT is completely out of the scope of what a dog is allowed to do at our house. If I even steer towards the fence, hear the dreaded "ATTTTT, OUGHTTTT and ERRRT". Those are the sound Dad uses when he can't get the real words out fast enough to impact the situation. Nothing will stop a dog faster than a Dear ol' Dad "ERRRRRTTTTT". Then you stop and look over your tail at him and he's pointing and waving arms like he's landing an airplane. What a tool!!! I know Dad means well and there is danger around every corner (or so he says) but every now and then a dog has to be able to strut their stuff off leash and outside the confines of the white picket fence... don't they. Maybe if I yelled "White Chin steppin' off the line and walkin' outside the fence to smell, Boss!" After all, I'm treated like I'm on the Chin Gang!!! I guess the other side of the fence will never be for me. It could be worse, I suppose. He could not care where I go or what I do. At least Dad is always there to assure I'm safe and sound... and BORED! There are things that I openly don't know a thing about... one such thing is "THE GROCERY STORE". All I know for sure is that food goes away here, then Dad bitches about how quickly it goes away, bitches about the cost to replace it, bitches about having to drive to get it... then he jumps in the van (without me) and a couple hours later he returns with bags full of food. AMAZING!!!
From what I can gather from my investigations, Dad goes three places for food. These appear to be similar to what Alice went through when she showed up in Wonderland. Dad walks up to these glass doors and they MAGICALLY pop open. Then he wanders in and a playland of food and treats opens up like a vast cavern of goodness. It appears that Dad grabs a big stroller that the places supply... then he goes from row to row and talks to the various food stuffs until he finds something that wants to come home with Dad. From there, the stuff jumps in the stroller and Dad just tootles around the place until his cart is full or Dad runs out of money (whatever that is). He gets canned goods from one store... meats, treats, dog food, veggies and dairy from another store... and, finally, some bulk items from another store. Here's the real kicker that I've heard him talk about... some of the places give FREE SAMPLES of food and stuff to people. FREE!!! You apparently walk up and magical elves hand you trays and trays of stuff to eat and you don't EVEN HAVE TO ASK OR DO TRICKS. No begging or sneaking around to get this stuff. Its "Would you like to try this MEAT and CHEESE" and all you have to do is say yes. What I don't understnad is WHY AREN'T WE LIVING AT THE GROCERY??? These places have everything. They have guys that cut meat for you on slicers, to order. "I would like a few slices of HAM and BEEF and CHEESE, PLEASE!" and, damn it, they do!! Lastly, they do not allow dogs inside... unless they are "Guide or Service Animals" (Breedists!!!). What is the worst that could happen if I was allowed in there?? You know, they say a dogs mouth is 100 times cleaner than a humans mouth!! And if any of us had an unfortunate accident on the floor... they have rows and row of paper towels to clean it up! Mountains and Beaches be damned... when I get to go to Retired Mint, I hope its at the Grocery Store!!! Saturday is normally a lazy day at the Meek household (I don't know why I have the last name Chin... cause Dad's last name is Meek. Some people say its because I'm "adapted"... but I was adapted long before he met Mom and SHE has the last name Meek). However, during the hot summer months, Dear ol' Dad has to do this thing where he pulls out this little noisy machine and walks it all over the yard. I guess, maybe, the machine really walks Dad and he's chasing it all over the yard. This machine is eating grass and throwing it up at a very fast pace.. we've all eaten grass and thrown it up but THIS is something completely different.
The end result is the yard isn't so tall any more, my poop is covered up with the dead grass and Dad is mostly pissed off an tired for the rest of the afternoon. He says he's getting to old to walk the mower any more. I can beleive it cause... he's gotten to old to walk ME every night (or just fat and lazy... but don't tell him I said that or he'll cut the chicken portion down in Chin dinner. He's sneaky like that). I love Dad... I know it sometimes seems like we butt heads (he is a butt head, after all) but I do love my one and only Dear ol' Dad. I hear people talking about making money and getting old and moving away to not work any more. They move to this place called "Retired Mint". If its anything like Peppermint, color me interested cause Sophie LOVES some peppermint!! You apparently have to have a lot of money to move to Retired Mint. Dad is not exactly what you call "rich" in anything but dog butts and human fat. If you could measure wealth in poop, he's be a regular Rockheadfella. He often say money runs from him like a chicken running from Col. Sanders. Dad has dreams of moving to the mountains... which is apparently where Retired Mint is located. But its confusing because Mom wants to move to the beach and she thinks that is where Retired Mint is at. Dad wants to write a book and Mom wants to paint and grow stuff like peppers and corn in the yard. Since you can't eat a book (well, you can and I have... but it isn't very good), I have to side with Mom on the growing stuff in the yard idea. I do like peppers AND corn. Funny thing about corn though... you'll always see it twice, IF you know what I mean!!!??? So, I've been thinking that, if I had a million doghairs (which is the title of a song that Dad like and it apparently means you have enough money to move to Retired Mint) I would spend it all on buying us a beach house in the mountains of Retired Mint. Dad could sit on the porch with me and we could lounge around while he typed his novel... about me. (are you sensing a ME theme in all of this?). We could sip rootbeer and eat jalapeno Cheeto's until the sun went down. Then we could watch movies and eat popcorn and chin dinner. Mom could have her trips to the beach with Loki. His head could be used as a floatation device if Mom got in trouble out in the ocean cause empty things float. The Bitty, Loki and Finn could have their own guest house where I would never have to see them again... unless I needed something from them. Dad could still visit them if he got lonely for stupid things. Mom could grow veggies and fruits in our garden and we could live the rest of our lives just being together. Dad could cook good stuff in the smoker, we could eat very well and have friends visit sometimes when we felt like we could stand company. It sounds like a great life, doesn't it? My only question is, where can I get a Million Doghairs? I would have thought between the four of us here, we would have well over a million doghairs. I see Mom throwing away buckets of dog hairs every week. I guess we don't have the special dog hairs needed to buy stuff in Retired Mint. Its kinda sad. I know Dad has worked hard all his life, he's taken good care of me and I wish I could help him find Retired Mint in the mountains. Who knows... maybe someday!!! Well... Dad broke the last camels straw back with the bird in the bush and gathered no rolling moss tonight!! He went out of his way to toss the baby out with penny earned! He and Mom dined at Red Robin, home of the BOTTOMLESS FRY BASKET, and brought me home NOTHING!!! What a class-A dick with ears! Thats like going to Popeyes and not saving me the mashed potato and gravy bowl with a piece of biscuit, its a kin to going to Dunkin Donuts and not brining home a strawberry jelly filled for your canine buddy, its exactly like going to White Castle and forgetting to get a spare Slider and fries for your lifelong companion. He double ditched the dog tonight and I am hopping mad about it!
Would it have hurt to say, "Well yes young waitress, I will take that refill on the fries and... could I have a doggy bag." After all YOU HAVE A DOGGY WHO LOVES FRIES. Take a moment and THINK, you jerk!! Those meaty golden brown potato boats with a hint of season salt would have gone mighty good along side of Chin Dinner. Not to mention if there was a bite or two of a burger in that box. It chaps my ass like scooting on the floor with itchy butt. Oh, I'll have my revenge on this one... round mound of Dadness. When you least expect it, know that I will be there handing it to you on a silver platter. If I have to poop a scale modle of Mt. Saint Helens in your shoe, or sneeze in your ice cream, or pee on your new shoes... I will have the final say in tonights "Fry Gate". You'd better sleep with one eye open, old man... cause Hell is coming to the Chin Cave and its black/white and RED ALL OVER FROM BEING PISSED!! Wouldn't it have been easier just to bring home the fries? Hello all, Finn here. Dad has given me control of the blog on Sophie's site so I can have some time to speak my mind and tell my side of the story. I live life as #2 chin, partly because I was the last one adopted by Dear ol' Dad and partly because my sister is Sophie May Chin. Being Sophie's brother can be a challenge, as I am always second in everything. - Sophie gets the first chip in the bag - Sophie gets her choice of plates for Chin dinner - Sophie gets to ride on Dad when we both go on a ride - Sophie gets to play with a toy first - Sophie gets her own blog and more than her fair share of the internet Don't get me wrong, this is a far better life than I was leading before I met Dad 15 months ago. Its just that, sometimes, a guy would like to be first. After all, I am manly by nature. I protect May when we are out together. I've battle Loki to keep him away from OUR Chin dinner. I let her have the highest ground and, frankly, I put up with her stinking moods EVERY DAY OF MY LFE. Contrary to a popular myth, I am not that dumb. NOBODY could be. To be that dumb you'd have to be, well, LOKI. I've learned my place in the house since I arrived here. I am clearly fourth dog in the house but second in the dog pack. Dad puts Chins ahead of any other dogs. He loves the Bitty, Bitty sleeps with him and naps behind him on the couch most nights but, she is just a dog. Sophie and I are Chin, so we get special treatment. So don't cry for me Arch and Tina, I'm good being #2. Dad and I still have boys time in the mornings, he still takes me out to "drain my dude" more than the others get out. If I'm in trouble, like my foot getting stuck behind my ear or my foot tangled in the carpet at the top of the stairs, DAD is all about the Finnegan. I look at it this way, I'm like the backup quarterback on an NFL team. Should May get that big Hollywood acting gig she's always wanted, I'm ready to stand in as top Chin. I'm a heartbeat away from the big chair. Who knows, someday you might all be linking over to "Finnegan Around the World"! Hmmm, I do like the sound of that! My best to you and yours, H. Finnegan Chin #2 by Choice I don't want to say anything mean... well maybe I do... but somebody needs to clue Dear ol' Dad in that his eyebrow's are starting to look like Captn' Kangaroo did about a year before they pulled him off the air... and thats not flattering. Add to that his long hair making him look like the 6th Beatle and he's a hot mess looking to catch fire! The hair on my skirt is shorter than his bangs... he just looks silly.
I've lived with Dad for, going on 7, years... and in all that time he's never been what one would call a "Fashion Plate". He owns 2 pairs of shoes (both have been pee'd on at least once by Finn), 5 pairs of pants and about 10 polo shirts. He has t-shirts, shorts, sweat pants, socks and undies to get him by but he is NOT the kind of guy that might end up at a fancy dress ball. I think he owns a Steelers tie that somebody gave him and maybe a dress shirt. There's nothing wrong with being relaxed but Dad is close to a fashion coma! He can walk a trail with the best of them but you can't take him out to PetSmart without knowing the other dogs are goofing on him when he's not looking... its a nightmare for a fashionable, single, good looking Diva like myself! Here's hoping that your parents are a bit more travel worthy and dressed for success than the "Unpolishable Turd" I live with. He's lucky he can cook or I'd be accepting offers on a new owner (not really... I love the big ol' lug). Have a great day! Sophie May Dad is always bitching about the cost of electric to run the Chin Cave. To help ease his concern and be "Green" with our power usage... I had the kids tie Loki out near the power lines and I fed him 5 glow sticks. He may be scary looking... but if you hook a power cord up to his ears, he can supply enough power to run the Chin Cave for 8 hours before you have to tie him out again! The drawback is, the light from the empty space between his ears will keep you up all night! Its like that riddle about if the light stays on when the 'fridge door is closed... |
Sophie MayDriving Dad Crazy Since 2005 Archives
September 2012
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