There are things that I openly don't know a thing about... one such thing is "THE GROCERY STORE". All I know for sure is that food goes away here, then Dad bitches about how quickly it goes away, bitches about the cost to replace it, bitches about having to drive to get it... then he jumps in the van (without me) and a couple hours later he returns with bags full of food. AMAZING!!!
From what I can gather from my investigations, Dad goes three places for food. These appear to be similar to what Alice went through when she showed up in Wonderland. Dad walks up to these glass doors and they MAGICALLY pop open. Then he wanders in and a playland of food and treats opens up like a vast cavern of goodness.
It appears that Dad grabs a big stroller that the places supply... then he goes from row to row and talks to the various food stuffs until he finds something that wants to come home with Dad. From there, the stuff jumps in the stroller and Dad just tootles around the place until his cart is full or Dad runs out of money (whatever that is). He gets canned goods from one store... meats, treats, dog food, veggies and dairy from another store... and, finally, some bulk items from another store.
Here's the real kicker that I've heard him talk about... some of the places give FREE SAMPLES of food and stuff to people. FREE!!! You apparently walk up and magical elves hand you trays and trays of stuff to eat and you don't EVEN HAVE TO ASK OR DO TRICKS. No begging or sneaking around to get this stuff. Its "Would you like to try this MEAT and CHEESE" and all you have to do is say yes.
What I don't understnad is WHY AREN'T WE LIVING AT THE GROCERY??? These places have everything. They have guys that cut meat for you on slicers, to order. "I would like a few slices of HAM and BEEF and CHEESE, PLEASE!" and, damn it, they do!!
Lastly, they do not allow dogs inside... unless they are "Guide or Service Animals" (Breedists!!!). What is the worst that could happen if I was allowed in there?? You know, they say a dogs mouth is 100 times cleaner than a humans mouth!! And if any of us had an unfortunate accident on the floor... they have rows and row of paper towels to clean it up!
Mountains and Beaches be damned... when I get to go to Retired Mint, I hope its at the Grocery Store!!!
From what I can gather from my investigations, Dad goes three places for food. These appear to be similar to what Alice went through when she showed up in Wonderland. Dad walks up to these glass doors and they MAGICALLY pop open. Then he wanders in and a playland of food and treats opens up like a vast cavern of goodness.
It appears that Dad grabs a big stroller that the places supply... then he goes from row to row and talks to the various food stuffs until he finds something that wants to come home with Dad. From there, the stuff jumps in the stroller and Dad just tootles around the place until his cart is full or Dad runs out of money (whatever that is). He gets canned goods from one store... meats, treats, dog food, veggies and dairy from another store... and, finally, some bulk items from another store.
Here's the real kicker that I've heard him talk about... some of the places give FREE SAMPLES of food and stuff to people. FREE!!! You apparently walk up and magical elves hand you trays and trays of stuff to eat and you don't EVEN HAVE TO ASK OR DO TRICKS. No begging or sneaking around to get this stuff. Its "Would you like to try this MEAT and CHEESE" and all you have to do is say yes.
What I don't understnad is WHY AREN'T WE LIVING AT THE GROCERY??? These places have everything. They have guys that cut meat for you on slicers, to order. "I would like a few slices of HAM and BEEF and CHEESE, PLEASE!" and, damn it, they do!!
Lastly, they do not allow dogs inside... unless they are "Guide or Service Animals" (Breedists!!!). What is the worst that could happen if I was allowed in there?? You know, they say a dogs mouth is 100 times cleaner than a humans mouth!! And if any of us had an unfortunate accident on the floor... they have rows and row of paper towels to clean it up!
Mountains and Beaches be damned... when I get to go to Retired Mint, I hope its at the Grocery Store!!!